I can't say that I have ever really experienced something like this before. I like to think that I have been handling it well though. I know that many people out there would call up their ex the moment those feelings come back.
I miss him, so incredibly much right now. For the first week or two after we broke up, I was perfectly fine. It was like I didn't feel anything - I didn't miss him at all. But now, a month & a half later, it's almost like I'm finally feeling all the pain that comes with breaking up. When my past relationships have ended, that pain was always there at the moment of the break up and just gradually got better over time. Now, I'm doing the complete opposite.
I've been keeping myself busy. I always have something to study for, I've been working out on a regular basis, and I work a couple nights out of the week at my part-time job. So I do things to try to keep my mind off of him.. until it comes time to go to sleep at night. Then, I have all these thoughts that make it extremely difficult to go to sleep.
I tend to think that it has something to do with the fact that we met exactly a year ago. Now that spring is coming around again, I have all these reminders of the times when I was trying so hard to get him to talk to me. And then reminders of the times that we spent together in those very early stages of dating. It was just an all around exciting time. My head was constantly in a cloud, and I guess you could say that I kind of miss those feelings. And I hate that there are so many reminders of last year.
Even though I miss him so much, I really just have no desire to call him. They say you're supposed to delete their phone numbers after you break up but I have yet to do this. For one, I don't have the guts to call him. I have nothing to say. It makes absolutely no sense to try to get back together when the reason you broke up was because of commitment issues.
I'm doing everything I can to try to get through this. However, there's got to be something else other than just letting time heal everything.
Comments (3)
I don't really know what to say...
Something similar happened with me about 2 and a half years ago. My ex and I broke up..and I was fine..and then 8 months later..I was super-depressed and felt that I had to have him back. Instead of calling, I wrote him a letter saying how I felt.
BIG MISTAKE!!!
He showed it to EVERYONE..and didn't even say a word to me..about anything.
I learned my lesson..exes are better off being exes..and to really think things through before deciding you do want to tell them how you feel.
Or maybe mine was just a jerk...
I wish I had more useful advice.
Sounds like you're going through a rough time. Best of luck! This hasn't happened to me, but I just wrote about a pretty painful experience in my latest blog, so I'm kinda in the same boat in that sense.
Oh, wow, I definitely understand what you mean by missing someone, yet not wanting to talk to them. Such an odd mix of emotions!